HOUSE REPORTER TURNS OUT TO BE CHENEY
Fake Moustache Falls Off Veep During Press Briefing
House press corps was rocked by another scandal today as a
man thought to be a professional journalist was revealed to
be Vice President Dick Cheney wearing a fake moustache.
discovery took place during a daily briefing at the White
House in which spokesman Scott McClellan took the following
question from a reporter he referred to only as "Herb":
"Wouldn't you agree that President Bush's plan for reforming
Social Security totally rocks?"
Mr. McClellan could respond to the question, the reporter's
moustache suddenly fell off his face, revealing him to be
none other that Vice President Cheney.
unaware that his disguise had fallen off and seemingly oblivious
to the audible gasps of the journalists in the room, continued:
"And wouldn't you agree that anyone who opposes it hates
adding, "And isn't everything in Iraq going really well
these days?" the vice president noticed that his fake
moustache was on the carpet at his feet.
quickly excused himself and bolted out of the room.
after the incident, the White House took great pains to explain
Mr. Cheney's dual role as vice president of the United States
and obsequious journalist.
the past three years, we have consistently stated that Vice
President Cheney has been in a secure, undisclosed location,"
Mr. McClellan told reporters. "That location was, in
fact, the White House press room."
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said that she would
not run for president in 2008 "unless the Democrats nominate
somebody really easy again."