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  vvvv
Thursday, May 27, 2004 New page by 10 a.m. Monday-Friday

WARNING: INDISCRETE VULGAR LANGUAGE BELOW IN "EMAILED BY PAULINE"

 

my memorial tribute...

The Wall Street Journal story about the Marine Corporal

 

 

Bullet shortage! "..with more troops in Iraq, more intense combat than expected and the need for almost every soldier from frontline infantryman to rearguard logistician to be prepared for an ambush, the army suddenly finds itself in a bullet crunch."

 


Two cars burn after a car bomb exploded near them at 8:20 Tuesday morning in Baghdad. (® 2004 Christopher Allbritton)
A Day in Hell from Back-to-Iraq.com "Four people were injured and one boy, Ali Abbas, an 11-year-old kid who worked at the Fils Take Away restaurant selling cigarettes and chattering with anyone who would listen, died. He had brought me water on my first night in Baghdad."

In her grief, an older woman in a black abaya focused on the biggest target: “The Americans did it!” she wailed. “We didn’t have car bombs before, terror before,” she continued. “Everything came with the Coalition forces.
“We don’t like the occupation. Please leave, we don’t like you. “

 

Iraq prison interrogations produced little "..civilian and military intelligence officials, as well as top commanders with access to intelligence reports, now say they learned little about the insurgency from questioning inmates at the prison. Most of the prisoners held in the special cellblock that became the setting for the worst abuses at Abu Ghraib apparently were not linked to the insurgency.."

 

email

Brad,
Last week someone complained that you were linking to newspapers that required a logon ID and password, that is, it required registration. This site allows you to input the URL of a site that requires an ID and password and it displays an ID and password that you can use to enter the site. (The ID is listed on top and the password is listed below it.) It does work as I have used it a couple of times.
Dennis

Bypass Compulsory Web Registration
http://bugmenot.com/

 

As Ashcroft warns of attack, some question threat and its timing Officials at the Department of Homeland Security said just a day before Mr. Ashcroft's announcement that they had no new intelligence pointing to the threat of an attack.
The "some" includes me: COMMENTARY "No-News Conference"

 

A followup on a man who was a guest on my show several times

How Colonel risked his career by menacing an Iraq detainee— and lost "I'm not some bully who goes around threatening men's lives. Certain things we have to do in war are outside our character."

 

After 40, it's the wives who divorce the husbands

FDA approves pill for travelers' ills ("Montezuma's Revenge")

Flame-broiled meat may be a health risk

Kissinger tapes show Nixon too drunk to take PM's call

Child's jubilation dashed by Crayola contest error

Waiter eats fly found in diner's food

 

Army kept Ft. Knox whistleblower in locked ward "..quoted in a United Press International article about poor medical care at Fort Knox, Ky., that helped spark investigations in Congress."

 

 

emailed by Bill and Jenny:
GOVERNMENTIUM
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named "Governmentium".
Governmentium is made up of one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.
However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.
GOVERNMENTIUM has a normal half-life of four years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." You will know it when you see it.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

 


THE POSITIVE IRAQ NEWS from today's military papers, for those who complain that GOOD things never get reported:

Each newspaper logo is a link

 

See any positive Iraq news here?
• Troops capture top aide of radical cleric
• Sarin found on roadside bomb was pre-1991
• Troops call in air strikes to quell Taliban rebels
• Soldier killed in traffic accident near Tikrit
• Army plans to send OPFOR troops to Iraq
Guard soldiers living in unprotected tents at Iraq base
Regular Army soldiers in Iraq sleep in fortified accommodations while National Guard troops are in unprotected tents and using filthy showers, according to e-mail messages from several North Carolina soldiers.

  No positive Iraq news today
 

See any positive Iraq news here?
• OSI probes cheating scandal at Rhein-Main
• Army’s No. 2 officer may be next Iraq commander
• Troops capture top aide of radical cleric

Someone investigates the "good news from Iraq" email which has been flitting around the world's email servers HERE


 

WARNING
INDISCRETE VULGAR LANGUAGE

emailed by Pauline


English students:
Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Here's a prime example offered by an English professor at an American University.

"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story.
The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth.
Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking and anything you wish to say must be written on the paper. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).

THE STORY:
(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an airheaded asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17,” he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semiliterate adolescent.

(Gary)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of FUCKING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."

(Rebecca)
ASShole.

(Gary)
BItch.


 

So what does Snopes.com say about this story?

 


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