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Friday, April 2, 2004 New pages by 10 a.m. Monday-Friday
CHANGE CLOCKS
this weekend


LIFE-SIZE KERRY ROBOT HITS CAMPAIGN TRAIL (down column)

 

 

Rebeca Rodriguez
San Antonio Express-News 04/01/2004 07:55 PM CST
Cuellar ahead by 203 votes after 11-county recount

  • In Zapata County ... a previously untallied box of 304 ballots was discovered, with nearly 80 percent of them cast for Cuellar.
  • In Webb County, the recount turned up 177 new votes for Cuellar and none for Rodriguez...
  • In Webb ... the recount vote total was 115 ballots greater than the number of ballots counted on primary election day.

Seguin Gazette: Cuellar declares victory after recount

 


click for 66K

 


New Braunfels Herald-Zeitung
Garden Ridge reconsiders permanent burn ban

Music teacher took nude pics of 100 or so students Fritts began photographing the 13-year-old guitar student in January, according to an affidavit filed in Montgomery County District Court. The girl told police that Fritts fondled her breast on multiple occasions while she played guitar, telling her he was doing it so she could learn "how to play guitar when there were distractions," according to the affidavit.

Houston mayor "boiling" over trains blocking streets

White House holds back Clinton papers Thousands of pages of documents from the Clinton administration have not been turned over to the 9/11 commission, even though the records are relevant to the panel's mission, a Clinton attorney contended Thursday.


Bored boy behind president gets Letterman laughs
(with video & slides)

US vows to find civilians' killers Officials promised Thursday to hunt down those responsible for the killing and mutilation of four Americans and acknowledged that ordinary Iraqis, not just extremists, are behind some of the violence against the U.S. occupation.

Email ads raise fears over privacy Search engine Google announced Thursday that it is launching a free, Web-based e-mail service that will hold far more mail than rival services but also send users ads based on the content of their messages.

 

Blow away a cow for $400, and other weird tourist attractions

 

 

"I saw papers that show US knew al-Qa'ida would attack cities with aeroplanes" A former translator for the FBI with top-secret security clearance says she has provided information to the panel investigating the 11 September attacks which proves senior officials knew of al-Qa'ida's plans to attack the US with aircraft months before the strikes happened

Fight breaks out during anger management session at school

Police officers love Cop Donuts restaurant idea

Vibrating condom is top draw at inventors' fair

Cat survives trip on roof of owner's car


 

Polls Show Bush Unpopular With Grandchildren of Nazis
By William Grim
The results of the most recent Roper/CNN poll show that President George W. Bush would overwhelmingly lose the election if voting was limited to the grandchildren of Nazi Party members, Frenchmen who bathe less than five times per decade, Spanish communists and unemployed British soccer hooligans.
"This is very bad news for Bush," said Sidney R. Martin, chief strategist for the Democrat Party Central Committee. "It clearly shows that Bush is limited to his core constituency of registered American voters and is unable to reach out like Senator Kerry has to people who are ineligible to vote in American elections."
Sources close to the Bush re-election campaign have told Broken Newz that the President has all but conceded the French and German vote to Kerry and will concentrate his resources on the 50 states that actually participate in the Electoral College.
Democrats, however, have pledged to contest the November election in court if President Bush's victory is obtained merely on the strength of election results in the United States.

 

Brad's Ten-Foot Poll RESULT
posted 8:55 a.m. - 11 p.m. Thursday 4/1/2004
Hornung denies black-athlete remark was racist

Paul Hornung said Notre Dame should lower its academic standards to "get the black athlete." Is that racist?
Yes
47%
 
No
53%
Total Votes 281

 


 

LIFE-SIZE KERRY ROBOT HITS CAMPAIGN TRAIL
Uncanny Android Subs for Convalescing Senator
by Andy Borowitz
With Senator John Kerry (D-Mass) recovering from a shoulder operation earlier this week, a life-size John Kerry robot hit the campaign trail today to rave reviews from supporters and Democratic insiders alike.
“I can’t believe it’s not Kerry,” said Joe McKiernan, a life-long Democratic worker in South Boston who saw the Kerry robot, called the JK-9000, at a campaign appearance outside Boston’s historic Faneuil Hall.
The Kerry-inspired android, which so far is only programmed to say the phrases “I am a veteran” and “Bring it on,” is a radio-controlled device that can be operated from as far away as fifty yards by the Senator’s wife, Teresa Heinz Kerry.
“Teresa got the hang of operating a robot by remote control in no time flat,” one aide to Ms. Kerry told reporters. “It’s as if she’s done it for years.”
While some campaign operatives expressed relief that the Kerry robot could fill in so seamlessly for the Senator while Mr. Kerry nurses his ailing shoulder, others pointed cautiously to lessons learned in the 2000 campaign, when a life-size wooden puppet briefly subbed for Vice-President Al Gore, to mixed results.
“A wooden marionette filled in for Gore during the second debate, when the Vice-President was recovering from some root canal work,” one Gore aide remembers. “But the puppet turned out to be much more charismatic than Gore, who then came back in the third debate and was considered flat and disappointing.”


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Kerry's blog

 


 

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