April 2, 2004 New
pages by 10 a.m. Monday-Friday
CHANGE CLOCKS this weekend
KERRY ROBOT HITS CAMPAIGN TRAIL (down
San Antonio Express-News 04/01/2004 07:55 PM CST
ahead by 203 votes after 11-county recount
- In Zapata County
... a previously untallied box of 304 ballots was discovered, with nearly
80 percent of them cast for Cuellar.
- In Webb County,
the recount turned up 177 new votes for Cuellar and none for Rodriguez...
- In Webb ... the
recount vote total was 115 ballots greater than the number of ballots
counted on primary election day.
Seguin Gazette: Cuellar
declares victory after recount
click for 66K
New Braunfels Herald-Zeitung
Ridge reconsiders permanent burn ban
teacher took nude pics of 100 or so students Fritts began photographing
the 13-year-old guitar student in January, according to an affidavit filed
in Montgomery County District Court. The girl told police that Fritts
fondled her breast on multiple occasions while she played guitar, telling
her he was doing it so she could learn "how to play guitar when there
were distractions," according to the affidavit.
mayor "boiling" over trains blocking streets
House holds back Clinton papers Thousands of pages of documents
from the Clinton administration have not been turned over to the 9/11
commission, even though the records are relevant to the panel's mission,
a Clinton attorney contended Thursday.
Bored boy behind president gets Letterman laughs (with video &
vows to find civilians' killers Officials promised Thursday to
hunt down those responsible for the killing and mutilation of four Americans
and acknowledged that ordinary Iraqis, not just extremists, are behind
some of the violence against the U.S. occupation.
ads raise fears over privacy Search engine Google announced Thursday
that it is launching a free, Web-based e-mail service that will hold far
more mail than rival services but also send users ads based on the content
of their messages.
saw papers that show US knew al-Qa'ida would attack cities with aeroplanes"
A former translator for the FBI with top-secret security clearance says
she has provided information to the panel investigating the 11 September
attacks which proves senior officials knew of al-Qa'ida's plans to attack
the US with aircraft months before the strikes happened
breaks out during anger management session at school
officers love Cop Donuts restaurant idea
condom is top draw at inventors' fair
survives trip on roof of owner's car
Polls Show Bush
Unpopular With Grandchildren of Nazis
By William Grim
The results of the most recent Roper/CNN poll show that President George
W. Bush would overwhelmingly lose the election if voting was limited to
the grandchildren of Nazi Party members, Frenchmen who bathe less than
five times per decade, Spanish communists and unemployed British soccer
"This is very bad news for Bush," said Sidney R. Martin, chief
strategist for the Democrat Party Central Committee. "It clearly
shows that Bush is limited to his core constituency of registered American
voters and is unable to reach out like Senator Kerry has to people who
are ineligible to vote in American elections."
Sources close to the Bush re-election campaign have told Broken Newz
that the President has all but conceded the French and German vote to
Kerry and will concentrate his resources on the 50 states that actually
participate in the Electoral College.
Democrats, however, have pledged to contest the November election in court
if President Bush's victory is obtained merely on the strength of election
results in the United States.
ROBOT HITS CAMPAIGN TRAIL
Uncanny Android Subs for Convalescing Senator
by Andy Borowitz
With Senator John Kerry (D-Mass) recovering from a shoulder operation
earlier this week, a life-size John Kerry robot hit the campaign trail
today to rave reviews from supporters and Democratic insiders alike.
I cant believe its not Kerry, said Joe McKiernan,
a life-long Democratic worker in South Boston who saw the Kerry robot,
called the JK-9000, at a campaign appearance outside Bostons historic
The Kerry-inspired android, which so far is only programmed to say the
phrases I am a veteran and Bring it on, is a radio-controlled
device that can be operated from as far away as fifty yards by the Senators
wife, Teresa Heinz Kerry.
Teresa got the hang of operating a robot by remote control in no
time flat, one aide to Ms. Kerry told reporters. Its
as if shes done it for years.
While some campaign operatives expressed relief that the Kerry robot could
fill in so seamlessly for the Senator while Mr. Kerry nurses his ailing
shoulder, others pointed cautiously to lessons learned in the 2000 campaign,
when a life-size wooden puppet briefly subbed for Vice-President Al Gore,
to mixed results.
A wooden marionette filled in for Gore during the second debate,
when the Vice-President was recovering from some root canal work,
one Gore aide remembers. But the puppet turned out to be much more
charismatic than Gore, who then came back in the third debate and was
considered flat and disappointing.